YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD DOG DOWN

Greetings sports fans and welcome to another thrilling episode of Vegas Valley Sports beat that spunky little sports column that can and just might survive the zombie apocalypse due to a lack of discernible brain activity.

I’m sitting out on my front porch this lovely Monday evening enjoying the slightly cooling touch of a slight south-easterly breeze that is finally stirring up this muggy heat we’ve been enjoying so little as of late. And speaking of grasshoppers how about those hoppin’ little green boogers huh? Aren’t they a hoot? That’s nothing just wait until they all become locusts.

Speaking of deep religious matters let us turn our attention now to yesterday, July 28th and the fact that yesterday was my 55th annual birthday celebration which for the 5th annual year in a row almost, I had the honor and privilege of attending my own free keg party at the Pioneer Saloon in Goodsprings Nevada yesterday, July 28th.

The world-famous Pioneer Saloon was built by a prominent local businessman named, George Fayle. The Pioneer Saloon first opened the front door for business in 1913 and which makes it the oldest operating Saloon in the state of Nevada.

The walls both inside and out were manufactured by Sears and Roebuck and are of made of beautiful stamped tin panels. It is thought to be the last of its kind in the United States. The bar, which was installed in 1913, was made by the Brunswick Company of Maine in the 1860s and it still features the original brass foot rail which was also installed in 1913.                                                        

Video gamers will surely recognize the Pioneer Saloon from the popular video game Fallout 3 as the Pioneer Saloon is where the game really begins. It must be noted however that all though the two versions may vary this Pioneer Saloon is the real McCoy. Accept no substitutes.

Set far and away from the blare and the bustle of the maddening crowd, the Pioneer Saloon is situated 20 miles west of Las Vegas on I-15 West. Taking a right turn at the Jean exit and following your front tire(s) a few more miles down the road will find you in beautiful downtown Goodsprings, Nevada where the rugged desert landscape that surrounds the Pioneer Saloon is as tough and timeless as the history of the mining town it grew up in.                                                        

The first time I visited the Pioneer Saloon was in 2014. I was riding with a group of motorcycle enthusiasts like myself and while I was there I purchased a lifetime membership to the Association of Assholes which entitles me to a free keg party every year on my birthday for the rest of my life.

I’m sorry but even a near totally total teetotaler such as myself simply cannot beat that deal with a stick. of course, I signed up. It turned out that the initiation speech was well worth the price of admission in and of itself.

If I was not in fact such an asshole I probably would have been offended instead of finding myself in total agreement as they loudly heralded my lifelong commitment to being an asshole in front of the whole bar but there you have it, my friends, if the shoe fits wear it. At least you get a free keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer out of it at the Pioneer Saloon every year thereafter for the rest of your life. A man has got to have his priorities in order you know.

I invited more than 8,600 people from Twitter and millions from fubar.com but you know how it goes. People are busy they have jobs to go to and children to watch and it can be a long flight to Las Vegas from London, Dallas, or Washington D.C. so I was not at all disappointed when it was just myself my very good friend Jim, my editor-in-chief Mark Satorre and his family made a total 6 in our little party. What we lacked in size we made up for in fun, laughter, genuine enthusiasm for the day which we seized without a doubt, and a few good riddles.

Shortly after we met up and got settled in, a larger birthday party of Spanish ladies and gentlemen arrived and we made a large group of new friends.                                                       

The Pioneer saloon has such a fantastic and varied menu that ranges from steak and eggs to their ghost pepper specialty menu. Last time I had the ghost pepper barbecue burger and it was screamin’ good. If that does not suit your palate no worries my friends I can assure you that every taste bud will find something toothsome and quite savory to gnaw on at the Pioneer Saloon. I and Jim both had the grilled chicken breast sandwich with grilled mushrooms and cheese no cheese respectively and we agree they were superb. Jim said he will order the same thing next time we visit and you can bet that will be soon as Jim also visits the Pioneer on a semi-regular basis.                                                                  

While we were having our little double-birthday soiree a tour group came in and the tour operator held part of a ghost tour at the corner table behind me. It sounded like fun but I did not catch the whole story as I was somewhat distracted at the time. Some other folks came in as well and a few others chose to eat at the bar but it was full of friendly faces but it was quite evident that a good time was had by all.

At 106 years old and still going strong, the venerable Pioneer Saloon is most certainly haunted. Yep, you can bet your garlic cloves and prayer beads on that and if you don’t believe it they’ll be happy to lock you in the haunted jail for as long as you can stand it. At your request of course. Unless that is someone else has you locked up in it first and yes they can do it if they pay the bounty for your immediate incarceration.

I spoke to the head of the ghost hunters when he offered me a position on the team and he told me something there burned him on the back of his neck like a cigarette burn and left a welt.

The Pioneer saloon has so much character and living history and it is there to see on the framed pictures and old newspapers on the walls and the bullet holes in the walls themselves which could surely tell many blood-chillingly scary ghost stories about ghoulies, ghosties, long-legged beasties, and things that do The Bump in the night when everyone has gone home. No question but those walls could sing a few thousand sad songs and tell a million funny tales.

The Pioneer Saloon has so many options and amenities available that they are far too numerous to list.

  • Bachelor Parties
  • Birthday Parties
  • Cook Outs
  • Corporate Getaways
  • Group Event
  • Weddings

Almost.That’s not even counting the cool back patio with picnic tables and conversation pits where good friends old and new can circle up and enjoy good times beneath the misting canopy. With a full bar outside the back door and an attentive waitstaff on hand, all a world-weary time traveler has to do is put their feet up in front of the fire pit and listen to the world passing by to the rhythms of a bluegrass duo, solo rock/blues artist, or country group playing just inside. It all depends upon when you get there.

Every time I have visited the Pioneer Saloon there has been a group playing live music and anyone bold enough to get up there and belt one out is always welcome to sing along with the performers on stage, or they might even go solo if they wish.

That is one of the Pioneer Saloon’s most endearing qualities to my mind because every human being carries a song close to their heart that they secretly want to sing out loud in front of a live audience at some point in their lifetime and others love to sing no matter who hears it. I myself am one of the latter.                                                 

I’m so proud to call Noel, the owner of the Pioneer Saloon, a very good friend of whom I have high regard because I know him as a genuinely decent and friendly man. I’ve had four parties out of the last five birthdays since obtaining my membership and not once has there been so much as a hiccup or a hitch in reserving whatever day I choose to hold the party. The beer is always there, it is always cold, and they are always glad to see you again whether they remember you or not. I can totally relate so no worries there.

This coupled with the high level of prompt service, friendliness, and knowledgeability of the Pioneer’s staff regarding the history of the Saloon make it a fine establishment without question.But there is so much more to it than that and for those reasons I would sincerely and highly recommend to anyone who is visiting our fair city of Las Vegas, or if you live here already, to take the time out to discover Goodsprings, Nevada the best little Saloon in the Silver State for themselves as soon as possible. If you have any further questions they will be happy to answer them for you promptly and courteously.Feel free to tell them that asshole Charles Ramos Jr from Vegas Valley News sent you.                                                

A Night Of Magic

 February 2, 2018Charles Ramos Jrlas vegasLas vegas nightlifemagic actsmagic showsPenn and Teller

Las Vegas as most people in the world know is a magical place to visit. A lucky few are privileged to live here but we also know it’s magical. For those seeking quality family entertainment, the worlds greatest magicians can be found right here. David Copperfield can be seen performing nightly at the MGM Grand Hotel; tickets start at $78 per person.          https://www.vegas.com/shows/magic/david-copperfield-las-vegas
While I’ve not yet had the honor of seeing this legendary illusionist perform
I was privileged however to catch a live performance recently by Penn And Teller at the Rio All Suites Hotel And Casino.          htttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller
Jillette Penn and Teller, who is just Teller, are two amazing magicians who bring their unique style of prestidigitation to the Rio every night at 9:00 pm.
The theater is tastefully done and the hotel staff does a first rate job of making getting from the valet or parking structure to ones seat an easy transition for all visitors. Handicap access is equally hassle free.
Having a deep love of magic I jumped at the opportunity to attend. Upon my arrival I appropriated the first casino employee I met and in minutes I was in front of the theater. I cannot tell you what wonders these wizards performed, as they change their routine up every night, but I can assure anyone who loves magic, or even just enjoys a good show will be spellbound for the entire performance and spend most of the show either rolling with paroxysms of laughter, or gasping in awe.
After the show, fans will be delighted to learn that Penn and Teller take the time to meet the audience up close and personal in front of the theater to sign autographs and pose for photo ops. Tickets start at just $52 and can be purchased online at:  https://www.vegas.com/shows/magic/penn-and-teller-las-vegas Or you can charge them by phoning: 1-888-983-4279, You can also get them at the guest services ticket counter. Just be sure and get there early because seating, although ample, is limited to a first come first served basis and are in high demand.